学会包容支持他人【中英对照】
当我们遇到烦恼、障碍时,如果没有方法,人生就会变得黑暗,像开车失去了方向一样迷茫。我们面对一个问题,要了解它的来源、追溯它的本质,才有解决问题的机会。有了正确的方法,人生才会获得光明。
A correct approach is needed when we face the various obstacles and frustrations of life. Otherwise, life will become dark and gloomy, much like driving in unknown territory. To resolve an issue, we need to trace it back to its origin and understand its nature. A correct approach is key to living a bright life.
所有事相与问题,都有它的共性与本质——平等性就是它的本质。因为所有事相都有其作用力的展现,但无有实质。
All phenomena and problems share the same, universal nature: equality. They are but manifestations of this nature without essence.
昨天发生的事情、几年前发生的事情,不管好的、坏的,发生时都有其作用力。有的事情让人痛苦,有的事情让人喜悦,但发生了,即结束了,无有实质。像我们做的梦一样,在梦中什么事都发生过,但醒来除了记忆以外,什么事也没留下。因为一切如梦,所以平等。
All things that happened in the past, be it yesterday or years ago, for good or bad, incurred an impact, bringing pleasure or suffering. These things ceased to exist at the very moment they occurred, leaving nothing behind. No essence can be found. Just like in our dreams, anything can happen. But after we wake up, nothing is left but memory. All phenomena and problems are equal because they are all as illusory as a dream.
我们认清了这个平等性——就是所有事相、所有生命的共同本质,我们依止这个本质,或者透过事相来了解其本质,就可以在生活中去实践、去解决我们所遇到的种种问题。在这个共性平等的基础上,才能真正地相互尊重,交流、包容、理解、支持的机会就会增多。相反,鄙视、轻视、不在意(就是不尊重)、领导别人、要求别人、控制别人,就会产生伤害。
We should understand that this equality is the universal nature of all phenomena and life. By relying on this nature, or by understanding the nature through a phenomenon, we can practice this approach and solve a large variety of problems in our lives. Based upon this universal equality, we can enjoy real mutual respect, thus the opportunities of mutual communication, tolerance, understanding and support will increase accordingly; on the opposite, contempt, disdain, and carelessness shows disrespect. Leading, demanding and controlling others will inflict pain.
支持别人,就是在别人的思想、作为中,去补充他人的不足,使他人的不足逐渐完善、健康起来,只给予有效果的、具体的、轻松的方法,不期盼回报,不强制对方接纳。
To support someone means to supply and nurture other people’s mindset and actions in an effective, feasible, and gentle manner, make up for what they are short for, and help others improve themselves. Support must be offered with no expectation of compensation and must be received voluntarily.
我们在支持别人的过程中,往往容易借助"对别人好"的理由去要求别人,背后其实是控制,这不是真正的支持。像做父母的经常会按自己的要求去强制孩子听自己的话,理由很充分——“都是为孩子好",但结果其实是让孩子听话,一旦(事情)违背自己的意愿就埋怨、委屈。这不是支持,而是自己的私心罢了。真正的支持,就是在尊重的基础上给予孩子恰当的方法,引导孩子对因果的观察,令孩子有个反思,去承担自己应该承担的责任,令其从事相的执着中解脱出来。
Usually, while we claim to support others, we tend to dominate them under the pretext of good intentions, such as “I’m only trying to help”。 Our innermost thought is domination which is not genuine support. For example, some parents often demand that their children listen to them. They might claim to have sufficient reason to do so, saying “it’s for your own good”。 But once their children go against their will, parents will complain or feel wronged. This is not real support but a selfish act. Real support is based upon respect to empower children with the right approach and the capacity to observe the law of cause and consequence, then to help them reflect on and take responsibility of their own actions. Through this way, parents help their children free themselves from excessive attachment to all phenomena.
不光是家庭,我们的这个时代都需要包容与支持。包容,是理解、许可任何人有不同的角度、想法;支持,是给予恰当的方法,去帮助别人从烦恼、习惯、迷失中走出来。这与控制、要求完全会产生不同的结果。我们可以去不断地对比、深思、观察,来了解这些方法,应用实践在我们日常生活中,不断地使这些可执行、可操作的方法在我们的生命中发挥它的积极作用。
Not only our families but also our times need more tolerance and support. Tolerance means understanding and allowing others to have a different perspective or idea. Support means offering the right way to help others free themselves from troubles, habits and confusion. These attitudes are different from control and demand, and will generate opposite results. By constant comparison, in-depth thinking and observation, we will come to learn and apply these doable approaches in our everyday life, improving life for the better.
包容、支持,是生命本质平等性的作用力的展示;控制、要求,也是生命本质的作用力的展示,但控制、要求所产生的烦恼、伤害会把平等性的本质遮蔽或埋没了。
Tolerance and support are the manifestations of the equal nature of life; so are control and demand. However, the latter are different from the former in that they cause anxiety and inflict harm, which deter and obstruct people from discovering this equal nature.
我们能从事相中认清并回归到平等的本质上,人就会在包容、支持等这些应该作为的地方多去作为,在控制、要求等不应该作为的地方去调整,去回归。不强化事相的高低、对错、善恶而迷失于其中,回到本质就平等了、清净了。
After we have a clear understanding of and return to this equal nature through phenomena, we will spend more efforts on what we should do such as being tolerant and supportive, and try hard to adjust what we shouldn’t do such as control and demand and return to the universal nature. We should not strengthen the duality of phenomena such as high and low, right and wrong, good and bad, thus we will not get lost. We will be equal and pure when we go back to the nature.
原标题:学会包容支持他人 【 中英对照 】
文章转自微信公众号:菩提眼
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